Online dating. Last resort or new beginning.

I have spent the last 10 years making fun of online dating. The following are the truths I held to be self evident which both justified my mockery and defended my refusal to engage in the act.

• Shopping for partners in catalog form, I reasoned, was as calculated, pragmatic and utterly unromantic as it could get. It was counter to everything so wonderful about the concept of 'love at first sight.' It gave new meaning to the term 'meat market.' It was not the kind of start to a relationship that one would be proud to tell her child about 10 years down the line. ('I met your father in a search for tall, slender-to-built Jewish men. Earning $150,000 or more a year. In the legal profession. Within 5 miles of my zip code. I spent $44.95 on membership to marryaman.com and the cost of a profile headshot to find him.')
• The only men who I'd find on a dating site would be far too eager to settle down. And men who were looking to settle down were certainly not my type. Oh no. I far preferred men with no interest in marriage at all who I could then spend months trying to convince that they did want to marry--to marry me, in fact. Men who wanted to settle down and went on dating websites wore collared shirts and went to nightclubs on the weekends and had mommy issues.
• I was not sure I wanted to settle down. Sure, I wanted a boyfriend sometimes. Sure, I thought dating was fun. But in the same way that I had no desire to 'shop' for me, the idea of a man shopping for me was ever more horrifying. I didn't want to be pegged by my height, judged by my photo, skipped over because my profile was sassy when it should have been sweet.

So, as you may have figured out, I recently gave the idea of online dating a second thought. The open-mindedness arrived somewhere between flu-like symptoms and congestion...and a fever-induced revelation that I was ready to settle down. Oh, and the frequent rise of pregnancy, toddlers, and exposure to 'mommy bloggers' may have been a cause as well.

And while online dating is not easy--they may screen for nudity in profile pics but they do not screen for IQ it's become abundantly clear (horror stories to be shared later, don't you worry)--I have signed up. Ohmigod, that was hard for me to say. And I have told some friends. And my mother. I still feel so wary about it that confessionals seem the only way for my made up screen name, emails with strangers and [dare I say] excitement about some of the guys I've started talking to, not to become a deep, dark, mortifying secret.

In that spirit (yeah, I guess it's the spirit of embarrassment), I'm telling you too. Later on, I'll walk you through tips for the game--but, in the meantime, I'll share with you that my first date, the fruit of an online dating site, is tonight. Wish me luck and check in later for tales of horror, humor and perhaps a little romance.

One Single Story.

29 years ago a baby girl was born. By the time she turned 5, her parents had divorced. By the time she was 10, she'd seen more animated Disney romances than she could count. And by 15 she still hadn't kissed a boy.

See, when a girl has no particular romantic role model at home and Cinderella teaches her that men show up on horses with slippers, she gets the impression that she doesn't need to do much to catch one of these fellows falling from the sky. She just needs to stand on the right spot of ground while he's falling.

And until my late 20s (okay, the cat's out of the bag--I am that baby girl. shocker) I was just fine waiting around for Mr. Right to approach one day. Until then I'd continue to date the occasional Mr. Wrong, sleep with the not-so-infrequent Mr. Right Now, and not give my romantic future much thought.

Well, now I've got the distinct impression that my approach toward my dating life has been mostly, if not all, wrong. The evidence, of course, is the fact that I am still single while close friends, former classmates, and Natalie Portman have gotten engaged and are on their way toward marital bliss and long-lasting, meaningful partnerships.

I've realized that waiting around is not enough. I've got to take an active role in my dating destiny. And you, friends, are welcome along for the ride.