Every side of the bed is mine.

For 5 years, I've slept on one side of the bed--the right side.

This morning I woke up in the middle of the bed.

I went back to sleep.

I woke up in the middle again.

I take this as an affront from my subconscious. My sleeping self seems to think it's time I hoped for someone to fill the bed's other side.

My waking side says to f*ck off.

Maybe I just need a bigger bed.